Craig Brown Quotes & Sayings

“Cleanliness is the scourge of art.”

“There's nothing wrong with procrastination. Or is there? I'll leave it to you to decide, but only if you have the time.”

“You might think that religion was the one area in which professional jealousy would take a back seat. But no: ecclesiastical memoirs are as viperish as any, though their envy tends to cloak itself in piety.”

“A decent beard has long been the number one must-have fashion item for any fugitive from justice.”

“My life is a monument to procrastination, to the art of putting things off until later, or much later, or possibly never.”

“It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed to the lure.”

“As life goes on, we accrue more and more loseable objects. Providence dictates that objects that are too large to lose, such as houses, always come with tiny little keys, specially designed to give you the slip.”

“Somewhere in the back of their minds, hosts and guests alike know that the dinner party is a source of untold irritation, and that even the dullest evening spent watching television is preferable.”

“Children are perfectly happy to sit next to spiders; it is only grown-ups who are frightened away.”

“Words have a life of their own. There is no telling what they will do. Within a matter of days, they can even turn turtle and mean the opposite.”