Elayne Boosler Quotes & Sayings

“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”

“I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'”

“You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.”

“The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.”

“I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.”

“I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better, is palpable and moving. There is true caring, sharing, and refreshingly naive hope.”

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”

“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.”

“Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.”

“My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.”