Jeff Garlin Quotes & Sayings

“There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.”

“For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey.”

“I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.”

“Parents have got to chill out. Let your kid eat dirt - they're gonna be fine!”

“I have gone to many theaters where it is so unpleasant with the commercials before the movie, the volume, and the disrespect of the filmgoers. So I understand people not wanting to go to the theater.”

“I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.”

“Forget 'full of myself,' I'm not remotely impressed with myself.”

“The only thing that I demand of the audience is that they listen to what I'm saying. Other than that, they owe me nothing. They don't owe me a thing.”

“Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That's why I don't go climb mountains.”

“I do love directing. It's probably my favorite thing that I do.”