Jimmy Kimmel Quotes & Sayings

“At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes.”

“You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else.”

“Almost every week, someone's mad at me.”

“It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.”

“There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.”

“Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion.”

“I go to Costco every weekend. It's my favorite part of the week.”

“When you know someone you can make a little more fun of them without them getting offended.”

“I have had a lot of experience in broadcasting.”

“I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.”