Joe Bob Briggs Quotes & Sayings

“Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.”

“It's not a crime to get drunk.”

“As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.”

“If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it 'romance and adventure.'”

“Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.”

“There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.”

“Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.”

“Faith is like a kernel of wheat.”

“The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.”

“The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.”