Milton Berle Quotes & Sayings

“If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.”

“Laughter is an instant vacation.”

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

“A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”

“We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.”

“The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.”

“You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.”

“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?”

“I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.”

“Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.”