Jeff Garlin Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)

“First off, I don't do self-deprecation comedy based on being fat. I would always talk about it honestly. Secondly, I don't care how much I weigh.”

“I don't think I'm ever going to retire from stand-up, but what I have retired from is working the road every week.”

“I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.”

“I have the bigger iPad, but the Mini is the best. It just seems perfect. The old one seems so big and heavy. I like simple and clean.”

“I've avoided doing network shows because I don't think they're true to real families.”

“In my stand-up, I generally improvise from an outline.”

“Whenever I meet someone who's talented, I always want to write something for them!”

“Acting's fine if the script's written by Paddy Chayefsky and Martin Scorsese directs it, but unless you have something like that, I don't really enjoy acting.”

“I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the 'Tonight Show' when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren't plugging things per se, and they're just in the moment being interesting.”

“My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate.”