H. L. Mencken Quotes & Sayings (Page 7)

“Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.”

“War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.”

“Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.”

“Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.”

“The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.”

“If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.”

“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.”

“We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.”

“The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”

“If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.”