Jasper Carrott Quotes & Sayings

“I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.”

“Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.”

“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.”

“When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.”

“I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.”

“There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.”

“Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.”

“I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.”

“I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.”

“I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.”