Jim Gaffigan Quotes & Sayings
30 most famous Jim Gaffigan quotes and sayings. These are the first 10 quotes we have for him. He's a 58 year old American comedian born on Jul 7, 1966.
“Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.”
“Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.”
“As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.”
“You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby.”
“I'm from Indiana. I know what you're thinking, Indiana... Mafia. But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.'”
“Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.”
“My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.”
“Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.”
“Most single guys I know think fatherhood is terrifying.”
“Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.”
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