Les Dawson Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)
Les Dawson quotes and sayings page 3 (deceased comedian born on Feb 2, 1931). Here's quote # 21 through 30 out of the 40 we have for him.
“The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.”
“My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.”
“I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.”
“I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.”
“My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.”
“The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.”
“I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.”
“I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.”
“I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.”
“When we were courting, I told my wife: 'I could live in your eyes.' She said: 'You'd be at home; there's a stye in one of them.'”
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