Adam Carolla Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.”

“All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.”

“Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.”

“Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.”

“I mean, we sit around and we go, you know, 'Torture doesn't work.' Well, it's been around for 5,000 years. Most stuff that doesn't work goes the way of the dodo pretty quick, like waterbeds and 8-tracks and things like that.”

“I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.”

“I am not a good cue card reader.”

“I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.”

“I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.”

“When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.”