Artie Lange Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)

“It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.”

“Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.”

“Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.”

“The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons.”

“The road is a lonely place, and that sounds like a cliche, you know, like what is my life?”

“Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you've done this act a million times, you gotta look like you're almost just thinking of it now, to make it entertainer.”

“The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.”

“When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick time plays on you is just how slowly the worst times in your life take you to live through.”

“When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.”

“By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.”