Tommy Cooper Quotes & Sayings

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12 most famous Tommy Cooper quotes and sayings. These are the first 10 quotes we have for him. He was a Welsh comedian who passed away on 15 April, 1984.

Tommy Cooper Quotes
“I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
“A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'”
Tommy Cooper Quotes
“Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.”

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