Elayne Boosler Quotes & Sayings (Page 5)

“There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.”

“Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.”

“San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.”

“I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.”

“Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'”

“Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - all were imploded.”

“While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats; they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place; the comic strips.”

“For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.”

“I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money; my informed choice, my measured gamble.”

“Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full.”