“I would want to go to the future, 25 years in the future, and see if the Cubs ever win a World Series.”
“I had a lot of bad jobs but the one big internship I had is I interned for 'SNL' when I was 21 years old and that was the joke. You intern there and you think man, I'm going to be with the writers and the great comedians. Then you're getting everybody sandwiches and then the doors close and then all the great creatives are doing the work.”
“I love when people on Twitter give advice.”
“I'm a grinding actor. That's how I've always viewed myself. You go from one job to the next.”
“First, I wanted to be Chris Farley. When I was growing up, Chris Farley was still on the stages and fun to us. In my house, John Belushi was king. I didn't grow up when he was - I was born in '78 - the reruns of Belushi in 'Animal House,' and knowing he was at Second City, he was viewed as a king in my house.”
“My brother was an improviser. He's now a lobbyist, but he used to perform improv in the city when he was in high school, and one of the funniest guys I know to this day.”
“My dream career would be to be in things that have real heart and are telling real stories but while doing that, you're getting really big laughs. I don't necessarily love the straight crazy comedies. 'Caddyshack' is amazing, but there's not a lot of new 'Caddyshack's.”
“You know, I'll tell you, nothing changed after 'No Strings' for me. A lot of people said, like, 'Your game will be different,' but it wasn't. It really wasn't.”
“I always thought, if you're gonna do TV, you want to play a straight, solid, pillar-of-the-show kind of guy.”
“I like pizza and I like cheeseburgers a lot and I like Chicago food a lot.”