Jon Stewart Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.”

“Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?”

“I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.”

“A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'”

“Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.”

“Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.”

“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”

“There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.”

“I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.”

“I was born in New York City, but I was raised in New Jersey, part of the great Jewish emigration of 1963.”