Rita Rudner Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”

“Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'”

“Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.”

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!”

“I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.”

“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.”

“Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.”

“We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.”

“My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.”