Rita Rudner Quotes & Sayings

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.”

“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”

“To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'”

“I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.”

“I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.”

“Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.”