Rita Rudner Quotes & Sayings (Page 6)

“I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.”

“My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.”

“I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.”

“A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.”

“They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.”

“My Vegas act is how I make my money.”

“You are always trying to please people before you get to the public whenever you do anything that requires a corporate body to sanction it.”

“Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before.”

“When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.”

“Being a dancer and a singer gave me some advantage with regards to having a stage presence. I always take my timing from the audience because they are half of my act.”