Tim Vine Quotes & Sayings

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32 most famous Tim Vine quotes and sayings. These are the first 10 quotes we have for him. He's a 57 year old British comedian born on Mar 4, 1967.

Tim Vine Quotes
“Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.”
Tim Vine Quotes
“So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.”
“People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.”
Tim Vine Quotes
“So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'”
“My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul.”
“Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.”
Tim Vine Quotes
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.”
Tim Vine Quotes
“If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.”
Tim Vine Quotes
“I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.”
“I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues.”

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