Tim Vine Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)

“So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'”

“I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.”

“Black beauty - he's a dark horse.”

“Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.”

“My DVD cellophane was put on by a psychiatrist. It was shrink-wrapped.”

“As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.”

“For one thing, I don't pun excessively in real life.”

“If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.”

“With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke.”

“People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.”