Demetri Martin Quotes & Sayings (Page 4)

“When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.”

“I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.”

“Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable; that's survival.”

“A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'”

“When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.”

“I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.”

“My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.”

“There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.”

“I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.”

“I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'”