Demetri Martin Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)
Demetri Martin quotes and sayings page 2 (51 year old comedian). Here's quote # 11 through 20 out of the 88 we have for him.
“And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I'm on the right track.”
“The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.”
“If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!”
“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
“I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'”
“Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.”
“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'”
“I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.”
“A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.”
“I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'”
Demetri Martin Quotes Rating
No Ratings Yet
Leave A Comment
