Jay London Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.”

“I saw a stationery store move.”

“I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?”

“I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.”

“I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.”

“I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.”

“I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.”

“I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.”

“At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?”

“I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.”