Jeff Foxworthy Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.”

“That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.”

“Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.”

“I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.”

“You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.”

“If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.”

“You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.”

“Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?”

“For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.”

“My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.”