Jeff Foxworthy Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)

“I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.”

“If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.”

“The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.”

“Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.”

“I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”

“My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.”

“Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.”

“Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.”

“The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.”

“Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?”