Lewis Black Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)

“What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.”

“I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.”

“I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.”

“I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.”

“If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.”

“Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.”

“Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to Eve, not Steve.”

“If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.”

“Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.”

“For a while, I thought the great disappointment of my life was that I don't have a family of my own. Then it dawned on me: That's not what I think; that's what married people think.”