Robert Benchley Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.”

“Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.”

“A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.”

“The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.”

“Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.”

“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.”

“If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.”

“We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.”

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.”

“There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.”