Stephen Colbert Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)

“I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.”

“You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.”

“I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.”

“What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.”

“I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.”

“All I can do is today and tomorrow and have some idea of what we're doing next week. That's all I can worry about.”

“I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.”

“We have this idea in our minds that there's this separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics - not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course there isn't.”

“I deliver my Truth hot and hard.”

“The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do is not hit them. I'm more comfortable improvising. If I have just two or three ideas and I know how the character feels, what the character wants, everything in between is like trapeze work.”