“When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing.”
“Every single person, pretty much, is taught what they're supposed to do: go to school, get a job, find someone to love, get married, have kids, raise the kids, and then die. Nobody questions that. What if you want to do something different?”
“Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.”
“The whole idea of love is scary - so is being with someone for the rest of your life and being happy with them for the rest of your life. There's lots of research to suggest that, actually, love's not really that simple.”
“Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.”
“With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.”
“One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.”
“Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.”
“Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.”
“After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'”