Emo Philips Quotes & Sayings (Page 4)
Emo Philips quotes and sayings page 4 (68 year old comedian). Here's quote # 31 through 40 out of the 42 we have for him.
“Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.”
“In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.”
“My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.”
“People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.”
“I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'”
“My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.”
“People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.”
“I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.”
“Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?”
“England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.”
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