Dave Barry Quotes & Sayings (Page 5)

“Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.”

“The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.”

“The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.”

“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”

“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”

“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.”

“I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.”

“Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”

“The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.”

“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”