Erma Bombeck Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.”

“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”

“People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.”

“If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.”

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”

“I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.”

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”

“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”

“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”

“Never have more children than you have car windows.”