Groucho Marx Quotes & Sayings (Page 4)

“Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.”

“The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.”

“I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.”

“I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”

“She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.”

“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”

“Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”

“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”

“I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.”

“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.”