Don Rickles Quotes & Sayings (Page 2)

“If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.”

“My father was an insurance man and a small-time gambler. He was a good man, but he had an eye for the racehorses, and I saw how it used to bother my mother. I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all those years in Vegas.”

“When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.”

“I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.”

“They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.”

“I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.”

“When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.”

“Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.”

“Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.”

“Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.”