George Carlin Quotes & Sayings (Page 3)

“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”

“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.”

“Always do whatever's next.”

“There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.”

“When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?”

“I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.”

“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”

“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”

“Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.”

“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”