Joan Rivers Quotes & Sayings

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132 most famous Joan Rivers quotes and sayings. These are the first 10 quotes we have for her. She was an American comedian who passed away on 4 September, 2014.

Joan Rivers Quotes
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”
“Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“Never floss with a stranger.”
Joan Rivers Quotes
“Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.”

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