Steven Wright Quotes & Sayings (Page 6)
Steven Wright quotes and sayings page 6 (69 year old comedian). Here's quote # 51 through 60 out of the 125 we have for him.
“If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
“I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.”
“Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”
“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'”
“They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.”
“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”
“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.”
“I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.”
“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.”
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