Steven Wright Quotes & Sayings
125 most famous Steven Wright quotes and sayings. These are the first 10 quotes we have for him. He's a 69 year old American comedian born on Dec 6, 1955.
“I invented the cordless extension cord.”
“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'”
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.”
“What's another word for Thesaurus?”
“There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
“Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.”
“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.”
“I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
“Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'”
“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”
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