Steven Wright Quotes & Sayings (Page 4)

“Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.”

“I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.”

“It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.”

“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”

“I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.”

“What a nice night for an evening.”

“All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.”

“I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.”

“It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It's a gut feeling.”