Steven Wright Quotes & Sayings (Page 10)
Steven Wright quotes and sayings page 10 (69 year old comedian). Here's quote # 91 through 100 out of the 125 we have for him.
“I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.”
“I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.”
“I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!”
“If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.”
“If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?”
“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
“I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.”
“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.”
“I'm going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.”
“I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.”
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