Steven Wright Quotes & Sayings (Page 10)

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Steven Wright quotes and sayings page 10 (69 year old comedian). Here's quote # 91 through 100 out of the 125 we have for him.

Steven Wright Quotes
“I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.”
Steven Wright Quotes
“I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.”
Steven Wright Quotes
“I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!”
Steven Wright Quotes
“If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.”
Steven Wright Quotes
“If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?”
Steven Wright Quotes
“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
Steven Wright Quotes
“I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.”
Steven Wright Quotes
“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.”
Steven Wright Quotes
“I'm going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.”
Steven Wright Quotes
“I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.”

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